Anytime we say “I feel hurt,” “I’m not good enough,” or “I wish I were someone else,” we are voicing a part of ourselves that every human being has: The Ego.
Not the loud, obnoxious version you’ll typically hear about. But rather the soft, incessant version that lies behind our thoughts, fears, and hopes. Let’s look more closely at this “I” that continues to suffer. And why freedom from this suffering comes not in fixing it, but rather in seeing through it.
1.The Ego is a Story, Not a Self
The ego is not your enemy. The ego is an entity of your mind created in its effort to understand the world.
It’s the voice that claims:
“I’ve got to succeed to be loved.”
“I can’t ever fail.”
“I need others to think I’m good.”
But it’s not you! It’s simply your earliest defense mechanism; it was created to protect you, not establish your identity. The consequences of believing the ego is the complete truth of who you are are suffering.
2.The Ego Thrives on Comparison
The ego craves proof, not presence.
It craves comparison, craves competition, craves collecting, craves correcting. It thrives on “shoulds” and “not enoughs.” It thinks it wants the best, or it wants to awake to a place where there is nothing it can do. It resists uncertainty. It overthinks. It protects. It reacts.
Does that sound familiar?
That’s not called failure. It is only the ego being the ego, trying to maintain its illusion.
3.The Pain & Identity
When someone insults you, and it hurts badly, ask: Who is hurt?
Is it your soul? Or is it the idea you’ve created around yourself? Typically, the deeper wounds come from when the ego feels rejected, unseen, or unworthy. But those are not assaults on your true self; those are reflections of the ego’s fragility.
The soul doesn’t shatter from words. The ego does.
4.Awakening Begins When the ‘I’ is Questioned
Real healing, therefore, does not consist of building the ego, but of seeing through it. Whenever you stop to ask, “Who is this ‘I’ that is upset,” you open up a space. That space is awareness. Awareness is the witness. It sees the story, but does not become it. It sees the waves without drowning in them.
That witness is the true you.
5.Doer, Thinker & Seeker
You are neither. The ego craves a part. A quest. A problem to solve.
But your essence does not crave a part. It simply is.
You don’t have to fix yourself. You need to meet yourself. You don’t have to escape your thoughts. You need to stop identifying them as the truth.
You don’t become apathetic.
You become tranquil.
You don’t stop reacting.
You stop over-identifying with everything you feel and think.
You begin responding with clarity instead of reacting out of fear.
You stop suffering from what happens and start flowing with what is.
Because the “I” that suffers is not who you truly are, the real you is quietly watching and patiently waiting for you to remember.
And when you remember?
That’s the beginning of freedom.
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